


chatfic: friends!!!

by saiiii



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Crack, Creepy Hisoka (Hunter X Hunter), Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Is Gay, GON SAYS FUCK, Gambling, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Maid Illumi, Maids, MurderHusbands, i just hisoilu okay-
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:00:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25808497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saiiii/pseuds/saiiii
Summary: Gon is dumb and makes a group chat. Everyone is dumb and gay. This may be based on real events, you'll never know.
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck, Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 61
Kudos: 443





	1. DAY 1

***gon added killer, pika and leorio to freinds!!***

gon: hi!!!!

killer: no 

gon: :(

leorio: gon what have you done

leorio: this was a very dumb idea

pika: it seems fun 

gon: :D

killer: there is no way this going to end well

killer: you cant seriously think this was a good idea

gon: i was going to add hisoka too :D

gon: he is a friend 

leorio: no 

leorio: please dont 

pika: for once i agree with the old man

killer: yeah please dont add that creep

killer: he’ll end up adding Illumi 

gon: that sounds fun!!

pika: it dosent

  
  


leorio: i took a phycology course once 

leorio: i can legally say killua’s brother is not sane 

killer: no one in my family is 

pika: is this going to turn into group therapy

leorio: you guys need it

killer: so do u 

gon: i dont!!! :D

killer: ur dad full on abandoned you, told you he didnt want to see you, you’ve been preyed on by a pedo, seen countless people die, nearly died yourself, etc, etc

killer: you need therapy more than me

pika:i agree he needs therapy but you probably had it worse 

leorio: dude your nearly worse than killua maybe more 

leorio: but his home life is fuckeddddd up

gon: fuck

leorio: NO

pika: look what you’ve done old man.

pika: how could you

killer: omg gon said fuck

killer: im screenshotting this and sending it to ging 

gon: wait pls don’t im sorrrrry :’(

gon: killuaaaaaaaaaaaaa

gon: pleaseee

gon: killu :’’’((

pika: you made him cry

pika: apologize to your boyfriend killua 

killer: okay 

killer: so 1. Im sorry gon 

gon: :D

killer: 2. IM NOT GAY

killer: hes not my bf dumb whore

killer: I said he was my light once 

killer: ONCE

leorio: as a future doctor i can say this 

leorio: i diagnose you with gay 

gon: im not your friend killua?

killer: no you are

killer: youre just not my boyfriend 

gon: whats the difference 

pika: …

leorio: …

killer: w h a t 

gon: what?

gon: tell me :(

gon: or i’ll add hisoka 

killer: you woudlnt 

gon: :3

***gon added sexxyclown***

leorio: wtf is that username

pika: i thought i blocked him.

sexxyclown; heyyyy~ 

sexxyclown: im honoured to be here ♡

killer: NO NO NO NO NO

sexxyclown: yess~

gon: hisoka?

gon: whats the difference between friends and boyfriends 

sexxyclown: hmmm… holding hands, kissing, passionate nights and pure love~

leorio: JAIL HES 12 YOU DONT TELL A 12 Y/O THAT

killer: AGREED

pika: agreed.

sexxyclown: ah, im being bullied by your friends gon :(

sexxyclown: they’re so mean

***killer changed sexxyclown ‘s name to jail***

jail: so mean :(

jail: guess ill have to punish you~

killer: idk if you’re a monokuma kinnie or a sex offender 

pika: whats a kinnie 

leorio: whats a monokuma

gon: whats a sex offender 

killer:.... 

killer: google

killer; use it 

***jail added murderhusband***

killer: who is murder husband 

murderhusband; Hisoka, why am I here? Who are these people?

gon: hi illumi!!!!!

jail; hello dear illumi~

killer: fuck.

jail; gon is gon, killer is your little killua, leorio is one of gon’s annoying friends and pika is kurapika another annoying friend

pika; annoying??

pika: says you?

leorio; I want to punch him.

murderhusband; Hi, Killu! :)

killer: bye

gon: killuaaaaaaa

gon; stayyyyyy :(   
  


killer:...

killer: fine.

killer: but only for you gon.

leorio: like i said - gay 

murderhusband: Killua, are you gay?

jail: i am ;)

killer: i

killer: AM

killer: NOT GAY 

pika: sounds sus

pika: would it help to know i am 

killer: W H A T

pika; i thought it was obvious lol 

leorio; no it wasnt 

leorio; this is news

gon: thats so cool kurapika, im proud of you for telling us!!!

jail: he does look like a twink

murderhusband: so do you.

killer: did my brother just throw some fucking shade at hisoka

murderhusband: Don’t say words like that Killua.

jail: fuck~

gon; I got yelled at for saying that 

jail; you can say it as much as you want around me~

killer: HES 12 fhsgugvouegv

jail; so are you ;)

leorio: uhh yeah imma have to stop the weird pedo stuff

pika: dont touch the kids

leorio: our kids 

gon; yay more dads!!

Killer: communism as its finest 

murderhusband: Kurapika you are not adopting my brother.

murderhusband; Also, is everyone gay?

killer: R U?

jail: i hope so~

jail: or that night meant nothing ;(

gon: dont be sad hisoka!!!

murderhusband: attraction means nothing to me.

leorio: ah so hes pan

gon: whats pan

leorio: pansexual

killer: I know i shouldnt but i wanna make a pan fucking joke

pika; ha ur brother fucks pans lol

killer: thank you kura-pee-ka

murderhusband: I don’t have sex with pans.

jail: he has it with me~

leorio: so like they actually fucking or not 

leorio: i think they are

pika; they fucking 

killer: please get the mental image of hisoka & illumi out of my head

jail: ugHHH~ yesss think about me more~~

gon: ~~~~

killer: gon no

pika: I JUST SAW A FUCKRGIB ING SPIERAFVAUG SPIDER

pika: HBIGTOYURGVAAGHFGF

pika: JHDUFTHYBURT

leorio: you okay?

leorio: kurapika???

leorio: pika?????

killer: omfg he dead

gon: no!!!!

jail: is poor kurapika scared of spiders?? :)

murderhusband: pathetic 

leorio: he has trauma leave him alone

murderhusband: I have trauma but im not scared of being beaten to the edge of death.

leorio: r u okay

gon:thats not normal 

killua: its not??

leorio: wtf is wrong with everyone 

gon: illumi :(

jail: sweetie do you need me to come over?????

murderhusband: yes

jail: omw!! ily ♡

killer: W H A T 

leorio: they really are fucking huh 

gon: awww!!!!! 

gon: but kurapika won’t answer my dms

gon: im worried

leorio: this is worrying 

killer; eh he’ll be fineeeeeeeeeeeee

gon: :(

pika: okay its ded lol 

leorio: omg youre okay 

pika; yah 

pika: also where r u rn?

leorio: uhhh yorknew why 

pika; send me your location im coming over

killer: bet the spider is still alive

pika: stfu you goddamn grape 

killer; g r a p e

pika: stfu

gon; grapes are tasty!

pika: gay 

pika: ayway ttyl cya 

gon: cya!!!!!!!

killer: bye piss joke 

pika: haha very funny bye 

leorio: cya soon 

killer: anyway alluka needs me, I gtg gon

gon: okie dokie killua, i love you!!!

killer: i love you too


	2. DAY 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon is homophobic

murderhusband: ~~~~~~

murderhusband: goodmoringgggggggggggggg

killer: hisoka give illumi his phone back

jail: okayyyyyyyyyyyyy, i did

jail: do i get a reward?~~

killer: a continuation of life

jail: thats a shitty reward :(

gon: moring!!!!

gon: how are you?

jail: tired ;(

jail: illumi kept me awake all night~~~

killer: STFU

pika: good morning fuckers and hopefully virgins 

leorio: you didnt even say good morning to me

leorio: im right next to you

leorio: stop ignoring me

pika: nah 

gon: hi!!!!

jail: how was your night you two?~

pika: heh fun 

leorio: not in front of the kids

pika: hmm okay

jail: killua any ways of waking your dear brother up without the chance of death?

jail: much appreciated  ♡

killer: idk 

killer; try not being a pussy

jail: you are what you eat ♡

gon: why would you eat a cat hisoka??? :(

killer: omg no

pika: fear of his innocence grows every day

jail: its hot ;P

murderhusband: Good morning everyone.

leorio: mr glare is here 

pika: ur insults are weak

pika: call him a disappointment 

pika: and that killua will always be more important 

murderhusand: I know that already. 

killer: epic gamer moment 

pika: oof sorry

leorio: brutal 

gon: dont be mean kurapika!!! :(

pika: nah 

jail: opinions on fucking your clone? ♡

jail: would you guys do it?~

murderhusband: i would kill it.

killer: i would send clone me to deal with my parents bullshit 

killer: but yeah i would fuck clone me 

gon: woah two killuas??!

gon: that would be so cool !!!

jail: answer the question~ 

gon: i would be friends with my clone!!!!!!!!!

pika: id fuck me

leorio; i would fuck my clone but then have a deep conversation over a can of beer with him

pika: gay

leorio: thats not what you said last night 

pika: nah pretty sure i did 

pika: you wanted to use my chains for something else

pika: and

leorio: no

leorio: stop talking 

jail: hmmm the sexual tension~ 

killer: so leorio joined the homo club huh 

jail: just you left~

killer: what about gon dumbasss

gon: :D

jail: hmmm

jail: would you kiss killua, gon? ♡

gon: yeaah!!!!

killer: bro 

killer: really?

gon: yeah!! 

gon: you’d make an amazing wife!

pika: ha gon called you a bottom 

murderhusband: Killu would top.

leorio: weird thing to say about your brother but i guess im with you

jail: I'm with gon on this ;P

killer: I will castrate you.

jail: fun~

gon: idk what youre talking about :D

killer: why cant i just be your husband tho

gon: you cant have two husbands

gon: its wrong

pika: omg gon is homphobic send tweet 

leorio: uhhh gon

gon: yah? :D

leorio; why is it wrong?

jail: i cant believe gon is homophobic AND gay~ 

gon: the fishermen told me

gon: they said marriage should be between a wife and husband

gon: were they wrong? :(

pika: yeah…. Sorry dude

gon: oh okay

gon: you can be my husband then killu!!!

killer: uh.. okay

murderhusband: no

murderhusband: You are the heir Killua.

killer: im also 12 but go off

pika: child marriages amiright 

leorio: they grow up so fast 

jail: oh so they’re grown now~

pika: omg stfu and enjoy the wholesome child marriage 

jail: enjoying~~~~

murderhusband: I’m not ready for another round, Hisoka.

pika: what the fuck dudde

jail: :(

killer: does this count as sexual harassment 

pika: ha probably 

leorio: soka’s gonna catch a case

jail: soka? Thats new~~~

pika: dont give the clown nicknames

jail: Illumi does

murderhusband; Slut is not a nickname.

jail: fair ;(

pika: anyway fuckos moving on 

leorio: f u c k o s ? 

pika: i will bite you

jail; kinky~~~

pika: biting is not kinky ur just sheltered lol

killer: yeah hisoka is far from sheltered 

gon: whats sheltered? :(

leorio: you

leorio: like have you ever been on the internet unsupervised 

gon: no, aunt mito says i’m not allowed

killer: ask your dad 

gon: okie 

gon: he said yes

gon: and then told me to never speak about what i find 

gon: what does that mean

gon: why does he look so scared

jail: porn~~

leorio: hes 12

leorio: actually that's normal 

leorio: imagine waiting till you're 18 for that 

killer: ha yeah

gon: what

gon: wait for what 

gon: i'm confused :( 

jail: do you know what porn is? ;)

gon: no

killer: dont tell him 

murderhusband: Why do you know, Killua? 

killer: baka 

killer: why do you think

pika: fuck the tumblr ban

leorio: agreeddddd

gon: i’ve been on tumblr!!!

killer: reddit is the place to go 

jail: hmmm I prefer real people~~   
  


pika: real children*

jail: sometimes ♡

killer: local pedo clown admits crimes 

jail: i’ve done worse~

leorio: thats not a good thing 

pika: leorio make me coffee

leorio: im right next to you ask me in person 

pika; nah lol

killer: are yall like dating???

pika: hmmm idk

leorio: i mean.. I'm not opposed to the idea

pika: wife me up

killer: bottom 

jail: Illumiiiiiiii~~~~~

murderhusband: Yes?

jail: are we dating??? ♡

murderhusband: I don’t care.

jail: AWW~~ I love you too, my dear Ilu~ ♡

jail: my boyfriend ♡ ♡ ♡

killer: n o

leorio: if he’s dating your brother maybe he wont try and… uhh yeah 

killer: hmp fine 

gon: i looked at the internet 

gon: on reddit

gon: because killua said he used it 

gon: the memes are funny!

killer: god ur adorable 

pika; gayy

killer; UR LITERALLY DATING A DUDE

killer: and like

killer; LAETYGRPUAEERTRVUFTYO

pika; lol still gay 

jail; gon and killua would make a great couple~~

gon; Thank you Hisoka :D

killer: why r you sending me vocaloid songs in dm piss joke

pika; funny 

pika: miku is funny dumbshit

leorio: ya know 

leorio: when we first met i thought you were the serious type 

leorio: but no 

pika: u dissing miku?   
  


killer: you sound like my brother 

murderhusband: he really does.

pika: vocaloid is good 

pika: what type of music do you like then 

pika: kidz bop??? 

killer: hmmm mindless self indulgence, p!atd, falling in reverse, the offspring, etc

pika: omg hes edgy

gon: killua’s music is good!!

gon: I just listen to what's on the radio :P

pika: NORMIE ALERT

leorio: mccafferty, the front bottoms and ajj are all good 

pika: gons a normie 

pika: and homophoic 

pika: omg

pika: he probably takes selfies with guns and like dead fish 

gon: i dont do that 

gon: you guys can be mean :(

pika: sorryyyyy

killer: i will have to fight you now 

pika: heh i’d win

killer: pull up then lets go

pika: okay send me your location imma get dressed i’ll meet you there

leorio: omg hes actually getting up 

gon: pls dont fight!!

jail: video the fight and send it here 

murderhusband: killua will win.

leorio: I bet 1000 jenny on kurapika 

jail: 2000 on killua 

murderhusband: 30000 on killua

leorio: eat the rich 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a mess


	3. wait can i continue to call these days like when ya think about it its not different days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uhhh yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments, I really appreciate them - however, I have worse social skills then a block of lego so replying to them is hard

pika: okay so we didnt end up fighting 

murderhusband: A shame.

jail: who gets the betting money then~

leorio: me

gon: what did you do instead of fighting then?

gon: if you were hanging out you should’ve invited me :(

pika: we just talked about how killua is hopelessly in love with you lol 

killer: stfu you dumb twink thats not true 

leorio: hes my dumb twink 

pika: gay 

gon: awww!! I love you too killua!!!

killer: ..,.,i love you too

jail: i can't tell if you're friendzoning yourself or not but its hilarious ~~

murderhusband: Hisoka

jail: yes sweetheart ♡

killer: ew

murderhusband: ♡

leorio: what 

killer: illumi is that your attempt at flirting 

murderhusband: Yes. Was it bad?

jail: no it was amazing im so proud i love you so much~~~~~~~~~~~

murderhusband: :)

leorio: so this is love huh 

leorio: yeah i ship it 

killer: dont ship it 

pika: too late 

pika: as much as i hate clown man him and illumi are kinda cute 

gon: I agree!!

killer: i do not

jail: ~~~~~

murderhusband: ~

killer: no stop

killer: i’ll come home if you stop

murderhusband: Really?

killer: ….

killer: no

murderhusband: okay.

pika: HE SOUNDS SO DEFEATED LIGFRBLHRGVL

pika: LHFBTUYGVPESGVEPUGVY

leorio: okay bottom stop with the keysmash 

pika: never iuabrptbgpaeyr

killer: child anyways so 

murderhusband: You’re a child? 

pika: ha ur brother is not a barbz

leorio: i hate doing shit and not perfecting it 

jail: yall are all himbos ♡

pika: leorio is lol

killer: gon is a himbo in the making 

gon: im going to ask ging what a himbo is 

killer: GOOD YES ASK HIM

gon: he walked away :(

pika: just like he did when he abandoned you lol

jail: daddy issues~~~

pika: never came back from getting milk heh 

  
  


gon: milk?

killer: someone get this child some education 

leorio: you say child like you’re not a child yourself 

killer: i am mentally an adult 

pika: nah you mentally traumatized lol

murderhusband: same 

leorio: omg he said same but like same 

jail: same~~

pika: heh same 

gon: same 

killer: omg he admitted to having problems ifgfoavfuefyo

gon: i just wanted to be included :(

pika: lets all go to therapy 

killer: me and the homies getting that stable mental health 

jail: am i one of your homies?~ 

killer: no

jail: :( 

killer: ur like 30

murderhusband: Close, he’s 27. 

pika: omg hes 27 lszgfauyvf

pika: 2 7 

jail: 27 isn’t that old~

jail: you guys are just very young <3

leorio: 2 7 

killer: 2 7 

gon: wow you are quite old hisoka 

jail: ive been wounded ;(

killer: sucks to be you 

leorio: epic

pika: leorio 

pika: you're no longer the old man of the group 

leorio: that implies hisoka is part of ‘the group’

pika: lol yeah 

pika: we dont want that 

killer: what does my brother see in him

jail: big dick~

murderhusband: Killing him seems fun.

murderhusand: Yet hard.

murderhusband: I find that attractive. 

jail: awww babyyyy~~~ ilyyyyy <3

killer: i wanna throw up

pika: lowkey same 

gon: i think its cute 

pika: go back to being homophobic 

gon: no :( 

leorio: sorry to change the subject but when is killua and gon going to get together 

gon: we’re husbands!! :D

killer: ha… yeah 

killer: my family would literally kill you if we were actually together 

killer: Illumi would be the first to try 

murderhusband: I would.

pika: notice how you didnt say you werent gay 

gon: i don't care what your family thinks or tries to do :( 

gon: because i love you!

killer: fhbryafegrfauytvayr

leorio: hes having a stroke rip 

pika: you sure your gonna be a doctor? 

loerio: yes

killer: i uhh have to go 

gon: why? :(   
  


jail: hes flustered~~~

killer: to uhh train 

killer: bye

gon: byeee killuaaaaa

gon: i love youuu

murderhusband: I don’t like this.

jail: its cuteeeeee~~~~~~~~~~~~~

pika: damn 

pika: i feel kinda bad

pika: hope hes okay 

gon: did i do something wrong?

leorio: no kid, killua is just well… killua 

jail: ah young love <3

murderhusband: Why did you change the type of hearts you use? 

jail: shush <3

pika: gon ask killua out

pika: whens hes faced with his problems straight on 

pika: he’ll be able to work through them 

gon: thats actually super smart!

gon: i do love killua 

gon: so i’ll do it!!

jail: this is quite interesting~~

murderhusband: I don’t support this.

gon: i’ll do it! I’ll ask him out!! 

gon: i’ll be the best boyfriend ever

gon: we’ll go on dates 

gon: and train together 

gon: and fight together 

gon: and uhh

jail: kiss? ;)

gon: yeah!

pika: ngl this is cute 

leorio: nearly cuter than us 

pika: ….

pika: no theyre cuter 

leorio: fair 

murderhusband: Gon, if you ask Killua to date you - you will become my target.

jail: hmmm ilu~~~ 

jail: let them have their fun ;) 

murderhusband: no

jail: yes~~ <3

murderhusband: This is serious. 

jail: :(   
  


pika: damn

leorio: have fun with that gon 

gon: i will :3 

pika: wtf does that mean

gon: :3 

leorio: cryptic 

jail: gonnn~~~

jail: when are you going to ask him? <3

  
  


gon: he’ll probably see the messages on here so i’ll have to do it by text 

gon: so i’ll do it when he’s next active! 


	4. (not) DAY 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> regruvgrrg lruty ygl its short but i needed to update it at some point I guess

killer: okay so as you may already be aware of 

killer: me and go are dating 

gon: yay!! 

leorio: why are you saying yay

leorio: ur the one dating him 

pika: ngl this is kinda gay 

jail: awwwwwwwwww 

murderhusband: Hisoka, you didn't use a heart or ~   
murderhusband: Are you okay?

jail: you care about me~~~~~ i'm blushing *////*

jail: if you must know someone was just too lazy to find it and i doubt i'll be using a heart this chapter at all ~~~~

jail: maybe this is a fourth wall break~~ 

jail: ;)

pika: wtf 

murderhusband: I’ll take that as a no then.

gon: i think he’s gone extra crazy :(   
  


pika: haha GOn crazy 

killer: that moment when ur dad names you after what he's going to be 

killer: gon(e)

leorio: we get the joke

gon: hahahahahahahahahahaha

gon: ha

***pika changed gon ‘s name to gone***

pika: get rekt 

gone: hahahahahaha 

  
  


killer: damn i think gon might kill me 

gone: :)   
  


pika: me and my homies die together 

murderhusband: How do you change the usernames?

leorio: normie 

***murderhusband changed his name to illumi***

illumi: That’s better.

jail: no

***jail changed illumi ‘s name to murderhusband***

killer: i'm guessing you set up his account hisoka

jail: yep~~~~

***murderhusband changed jail ‘s name to annoying***

annoying: im being bullied by my own boyfriend :(

killer: good 

leorio: can we stop changing usernames it hard to keep track 

***pika changed leorio ‘s name to whorerio***

whorerio: you could've like just said no 

pika: okay we can stop now

whorerio: frick you 

killer: f r i c k 

whorerio: im not having a gon says fuck again senario 

pika: fair 

gone: i won't curse again :(

  
  


annoying: fucK~~~~

murderhusband: One day I'm going to snap.

pika: okay edgy lol 

killer: can’t even capture a 12 year old lol 

whorerio: lol 

gone: lol

annoying: lol

pika: u ruined it 

annoying: :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read my other actual decent works i guess uhhhh sorry for being dead recently 
> 
> If you wanna talk about HisoIllu, hunter x hunter, anime or literally anything add me on discord or Snapchat. Or even just bully me into writing:  
> Discord - ֆքօօᏦɛɖ#8278  
> Snapchat - s.aiiige


	5. (not) DAY 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
> 
> uhh
> 
> uhh   
> y-yeah

killer: i need date ideas

killer: according to gon going to heavens arena isnt a date 

gone: its not!!! Neither is going to the gym!

gone: we cant just train!!

killer: whyyyyy

whorerio: go to a cheap restaurant 

killer: im literally rich 

pika: get revenge 

killer: as a date???

pika: yah 

murderhusband: Take them on a mission. 

annoying: so those were dates~~~

murderhusband: Perhaps. 

killer: murder is not a date 

pika: it could be 

pika: goes into my revenge idea 

gone: who would we get revenge on? 

killer: lets kill my family lol

murderhusband: No comment.

annoying: yesss~~~ kill them killuaa

annoying: especially your parents  ♡

annoying: can i join~~~~~

killer: what do you have against my parents 

annoying: ~~~~

murderhusband: Hisoka.

murderhusband: No.

annoying: hisoka yes~~~~~~~~ ♡♡♡

murderhusband: No.

pika: damn

whorerio: why cant we be a cute couple too kura 

pika: sorry, unfortunately, my parents are already dead 

whorerio: I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT IM SORRY 

pika: nah i understand how it is 

whorerio: kura no i love you :(

pika: oof bro ngl kinda gay 

gone: say you love him back!!!!

pika: finee

pika: love you too mr. leorio 

annoying: awww~~~~~~~♡

annoying: ♡♡♡♡♡

gone: we need to be cute too killu!!!!

killer: uhhh

killer: ur already cute why do we have to be cute together 

gone: i love you killuuuuaaaaaaaa 

gone: youre cute too!!!!!!!

killer: nope im not cute 

killer: im like

killer: scary 

killer: ur adorable tho

gone: hmmmmm

pika: how will he counter 

whorerio: wanna bet on who wins 

murderhusband: How would someone “win” this?

gone: welllll i think you're very handsome killua :D

annoying: it seems gon has won~ ♡

killer: ihateyou

gone: you hate me? :(

killer: NO NOT YOU 

killer: i love you 

killer: dont worry 

pika: damn bet he used godspeed to send that 

pika: fucking sonic kinnie 

killer: bro you use fucking CHAINS idk if youre a dominatrix or a soundcloud rapper 

pika: both

whorerio: pika rapping would literally kill me 

pika: chose kura or pika 

pika: or just say kurapika 

pika: dont switch 

pika: bitch 

whorerio: 1. Im a switch 

whorerio: okay babe

pika: thats gay use kura

whorerio: babe 

annoying: pet names are dying in this generation 

murderhusband: Yay.

annoying: darling~~~

gone: killua we need names for each other!

pika: catch gon not using a !

killer: uhh babe 

whorerio: get ur own 

killer: baby 

gone: im not a baby :(   
  


killer: ur my baby lol 

killer: i wanted to put a winky face but s o m e o n e ruined that for me

annoying: ;)

gone: killua your not my dad 

pika: BIGHYIGLRPYIRTHCUO

pika: OMG HGITREUVYVPTVHGV

whoreio: omg omg omg omg omg 

gone: what 

annoying: i will pay for gon to call killua daddy ♡

murderhusband: Please don’t.

gone: daddy 

killua: no no no no no

killer: i dont vibe with this 

killer: bad 

killer: bad vibes

pika: daddy issues extreme 

whorerio: this is wild

killer: we dont need cute names lets stick with our normal names

gone: okie dokie 

whorerio: why havent you called me daddy, babe :(

pika: i would rather sell my eyes 

annoying: you could get a good price on them~~~

pika: stfu 

annoying: make me ♡

whorerio: just found out what poggers means so i can live life free

killer: pog

gone: no nope sorry we’re not doing that thing where everyone knows something but me 

gone: its an overused trope

gone: i may be innocent but i have a personality :(

annoying: and once again a fourth wall break is made to trash on...not god but… a poor imitation of one~~~~~ ♡

whorerio: are you… okay?

pika: dont ask him that 

pika: his emotional state means nothing 

murderhusband: I completely agree.

annoying: wow okay ♡

killer: poggers 

gone: what did i say 

killer: dont go tall mode again pls

killer: i will no longer pog 

killer: forgive me 

whorerio: t a l l m o d e

killer: did i fucking stutter 

gone: I forgive you :D 

whorerio: t a l l m o d e

pika: okay boomer 

gone: boomer?

killer: HA REMEMBER THAT GUY IN GREED ISLAND WHO BLEW A TON OF PEOPLE UP

killer: WE COULD’VE JUST SAID OKAY BOOMER 

murderhusband: A terrorist? 

killer: uhhh kinda 

annoying: i had fun in greed island~   
annoying: we should hang out like that again ♡

gone: yeah we should! 

killer: no

murderhusband: No.

annoying: you jealous? ;) 

annoying: i'm glad the two zoldyck brothers finally agree on something tho~~~

murderhusband: More importantly, turn your distasteful music down. I can hear it across the apartment. 

killer: YOU GUYS LIVE TOGETHER??? 

annoying: Don't diss ayesha erotica. Emo boy is the song of the century. ♡

whorerio: no, literal legend or princess 

annoying: i didn't expect that from you~

whorerio: my rave days are over 

pika: RAVE DAYS?!?!

killer: omg omg omg omg omg omg

gone: i feel left out 

pika: okay imagine leorio decked out in like kandi and neon pink clothes 

pika: igbeorygoeryr

pika: gaypanic 

whorerio: uhhh thanks?

annoying: i do like this turn of events ♡

gone: :( 

killer: whats up??

gone: give me attention 

pika: HA 

pika: gayyyyy

killer: hestoocute zigbpisgw

  
  


annoying: who has the cutest relationship? Me and Lumi? Chain guy and Dr guy? Or perhaps Killua and Gon?~ ♡

whorerio: do you

whorerio: do you know my name 

pika: he does he’s just annoying 

annoying: hmmm~~

annoying: it starts with a L right? ;)

murderhusband: was the face necessary? 

annoying: ;)   
  


whorerio: its leorio.

annoying: leorio~~~~~

whorerio: ya know what 

whorerio: stick with dr guy 

annoying: sure ;)

whorerio: are you… flirting?

annoying: i'm shocked you would accuse me of such.

annoying: im a taken man ♡

annoying: right ilu, dear?

muderhusband: Hasn't stopped you before. 

annoying: sweetheart 

annoying: my love

annoying: darling 

annoying: i would never ;(

murderhusband: I doubt you.

annoying: mean ;(

whorerio: i am concerned 

pika: oof 

killer: anyway 

killer: i have a question 

gone: tell us! 

  
  


pika: ask away lol

killer: why are hisoka and illumi still in the chat 

gone: because they're fun to talk to and as creepy as hisoka and get he still has helped us in the past 

whorerio: and no one removed them 

pika: yeah whos going do that 

gone: no

gone: listen to me 

gone: they stay :(

annoying: you're too kind gon ♡

murderhusband: I can leave if that is what you prefer, Killu.

killer: i feel bad now 

gone: stay illumi!!

murderhusband: I shall stay then.

gone: yay!!!!! 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh okay question which ship do you prefer: illumi x hisoka, gon x killua or leorio x kurapika?  
> illumi x hisoka is a major comfort ship for me so they're obviously my favourite :P
> 
> wait   
> should it be hisoka x illumi or illumi x hisoka  
> does it matter uhh
> 
> aakafnieygehr
> 
> uhh thanks for all the comments, every time I get one I smile for like an hour so uhh thanks   
> I use uhh too much 
> 
> anyway have a nice day


	6. (not) DAY 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> piss kink hisoka

whorerio: you can sign legal documents with glitter gel pens 

whorerio: but you cant write an essay that's 25% of your final grade with one 

pika: what did you do 

killer: amazing 

annoying: i’m planning on signing my marriage certificate with a glitter gel pen~

killer: who would you be marrying 

murderhusband: Was that your way of announcing our engagement? 

annoying: yep ♡

gone: you guys are getting married?!

gone: are we invited?

whorerio: i'm about to fail medical school can we focus on that 

pika: just rewrite the essay 

pika: anyway, MARRIAGE?? 

killer: no nope no no no

killer: i dont support this 

killer: hisoka isnt going to be my brother in law

annoying: no ♡

annoying: i am~~

killer: ILLUMI??? 

killer: what do the parents think???? 

murderhusband: I love Hisoka and that is final. 

murderhusband: I love my family but at this moment in time, Hisoka is more important.

murderhusband: And, he says he wants a marriage contract/ wedding ceremony. 

pika: okay why is this kinda cute tho 

annoying: Iluu~~~~~~~~ 

annoying: I love youuuuuuu <3

killer: welp

killer: okay 

gone: are we inviteddddd????

annoying: yep <3

whorerio: my dreams are about to be crushed i have 26 minutes to rewrite a 40 page essay about fucking bones

gone: weddings!!

pika: gon is kinda unhinged 

pika: he might be a psychopath 

whorerio: hello???? 

killer: why would gon be a psychopath 

pika:  _ you: oh yeah my dad beat me as a kid and i was shot every day and now i'm immune to bullets  _

pika: _ gon: oh wow so cool killua 😁 _

annoying: i noticed that too 

annoying:... its just a bit concerning <3 

gone: oh

gone: i guess i am like that 

killer: I'm not immune to bullets yet btw 

whorerio: y e t 

pika: stfu and go write your essay 

whorerio: oh wow you listened 

pika: s t f u

pika: i love you now go get your damn essay done so you can like live your dreams or smth idk 

whorerio: i'm so in love i might cry 

pika: there no time for crying in this capitalist society 

pika: get to writing 

whorerio: yes sir 

gone: wedding 

gone: weddings 

killer: yeah 

annoying: gon might be more excited than me and lumi~

pika: damn 

pika: gay

murderhusband: We’re aware. 

pika: gay

whorerio: hey

pika: NO

pika: write 

whorerio: yep

killer: heh lets all bully leorio into getting through medical school 

gone: maybe bullying isnt the best idea

pika: yep lets do it, lets bully my boyfriend

pika: bully leorio ~ 2020

whorerio: pls dont 

pika: SHUT UP AND WRITE 

killer: WRITE

whorerio: OKAY 

annoying: hmmmmmm, bullying~

murderhusband: Weren't you complaining about being bullied?

annoying: it's fun apart from when you’re the one getting bullied <3 

pika: i can bully more than one person 

pika: its called multitasking 

annoying: Im into degradation <3

muderhusband: You’re into everything, Hisoka.

annoying: accurate~

killer: hisoka has a piss kink 

gone: whats that 

murderhusband: I really hope he doesn't. 

murderhusband: Hisoka, do you?

annoying: :)   
  


pika: PISS KINK HISOKA 

gone: what 

gone: wait 

gone: thats gross lol :D

killer: wait 

killer: how did u

gone: the internet 

pika: gons search history is going to be weirder than leorios 

murderhusband: Does Hisoka actually have a piss kink?

killer: probably 

annoying: sometimes the unknown best~

murderhusband: I’m not doing anything like that with you by the way. 

annoying: :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its another shorter chapter sorry :(
> 
> anyway uhhh I'm thinking of adding another character maybe chrollo idk, anyone you guys would like to see? 
> 
> uh hh hh hhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhh hhh hhh  
> yeah ❤
> 
> GRAMMARLY SAID THE CHAPTER TEXT SOUNDED FORMAL IHBAYERYRY
> 
> byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


	7. (not) DAY 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chrollo and bisky join, only one will stay 😎

annoying: hey

pika: what 

***annoying added chrollhoe***

pika: no

chrollhoe: hello 

killer: damn 

gone: hi!!!

murderhusband: Why did you add him.

annoying: he wasn't replying to my calls~~~ 

pika: i will kill you 

chrollhoe: and you are? 

***annoying changed pika ‘s name to chain_user***

chrollhoe: oh you

chrollhoe: nice to speak to you again 

chain_user: i hope you’re living you own personal hell 

whorerio: wow

chrollhoe: i'm not but thanks 

gone: wait can i add someone new 

killer: why r u asking 

killer: ur the admin 

gone: oh yeah ha 

annoying: who will he be adding~~~

***gone added bisssky***

killer: oh god not that old hag 

bisssky: i will beat your ass

bisssky: also hi! ✨

annoying: hi~~~~

bisssky: who are you 

annoying: Hisoka <3

annoying: remember me?~

bisssky: quite well ✨

murderhusband: What does that mean, Hisoka?

murderhusband: Hisoka? 

annoying: oh its a fun little story~

killer: we saw his dick 

murderhusband: So have most people.

murderhusband: I am sure at least half the people here have.

annoying: hmmmmmmmmm let me think~~

annoying: bisky yes, you yes, killu and gon yes, chrollo unsure, others no

chrollhoe: unsure?

annoying: who knows if you stole quick glances ;)

chrollhoe: i did not 

bisssky: you’re missing out 

killer: he’s really not 

chain_user: why have 12 year olds seen your dick

whorerio: do i need to inform the authorities 

annoying: they were watching me~~~

annoying: im not the perv they are~ <3

murderhusband: Debatable. 

annoying: me??? A pervert??? Never ;(

killer: r u sure about that 

chrollhoe: lol

chain_user: stfu i hope you choke on your own dick

bisssky: creative 

annoying: letss fightttttttttt chrollo dear~~~

murderhusband: why are you calling him dear

killer: you can tell hes mad because he didnt use puncuation :/

annoying: awww you jealous~~?

murderhusband: you mean nothing to me 

murderhusband: i just would prefer it if my fiancee didnt go around having sexual intercouse with other men.

whorerio: pls just say fuck

annoying: dear if your genuianly worried about my loyalty you shouldnt be <3

annoying: chrollo is nothing but a toy to me~

chrollhoe: thanks

murderhusband: then what am i to you 

murderhusband: just a toy you find the most entertaining at this point in time?

annoying: youre more than a toy to me 

annoying: i love you illu 

annoying: i really do

gone: wow 

gone: what did i miss :D

killer: theyre just being an angsty couple 

gone: ah sounds fun 

murderhusband: I apolgise. 

annoying: <3

bisssky: when gon told me this gc was fun i didbnt know he meant like this-

bisssky: who need drama shows i can just watch this ✨

chrollhoe: i feel as if i might be impossing 

chain_user: I TOLD YOU TO SHUT TF UP

whorerio: wow okay kura i get that hes your mortal enemy however…

whorerio: ma y be

whoerio: just maybeee

whorerio: ...chill?...

chain_user: no

bisssky: why dont you just remove him lol 

***bisssky removed chrollhoe from friends!!!***

gone: no :(

gone: more people is better

chain_user: yay hes gone

annoying: i

annoying: I WASNT FINSIHED 

annoying: i mean

annoying: i wasnt finished~~~ ;(

murderhusband: good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking so long with this chapter, school starting and a breakup aren't the best circumstances for making chat fics but heyyyyyyyyyyy
> 
> uhh could be worse 
> 
> anyway someone said to add bisky and uhhhhhh i forgot who it was so... thanks whoever it was lol


	8. (not) DAY 8

annoying: everyone~~

annoying: i need your opinions on something <3

murderhusband: Hisoka, others input is not needed in this.

murderhusband; I already said no.

chain_user: spill the tea 

gone: tell us!

annoying: Illu my dear baby, my darling, my love~~~ promised that if i helped him with a job he would wear a maid dress for me. But now he’s refusing to do so ;( <3

murderhusband; I never promised.

killer: idk bro seems like you maid (heh) a promise here

murderhusband: Did you just make a pun?   
  


gone: wow that was an amazing joke killua!

whorerio: good afternoon and why does everything gon say sound sarcastic 

chain_user: wear the dress

annoying: Im glad everyone agrees!!~~~ <3

whoreio: give him cat ears too 

annoying: oh~~ i do like that idea <3

murderhusband: Hisoka, no.

killer: take a pic so i can send it to the family gc lol 

killer: keep it pg tho kalluto and alluka are on there

murderhusband: Killu, no.

chain_user: leorio dont get any ideas 

whorerio: i cant make any promises 

gone: i dont think you should force illumi into doing anything 

killer: ayo remember after the hunter exam 

gone: wear the dress illumi 

annoying: Ilu~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

annoying: majority vote <3

murderhusband: No cat ears.

whorerio: cat ears 

murderhusband: I will kill you.

whorerio: i'm a med student whose 6 assignments behind buddy death would be a reward atm

chain_user: no 

bisssky: whats happening 

killer: oh god i forgot you were here

bisssky: what are you implying ✨

bisssky: that you dont want me here?

bisssky: bc i will punch you ✨

annoying: illumi in a maid dress with cat ears? Yes or no? <3

bisssky: YES

bisssky: send pics ✨

bisssky: from all angles- 

gone: I bet he’ll look super cute!

killer: heh gay 

gone: we’re literally dating killu

killer: thats even more gay 

bisssky: YOU GUYS ARE DATING??????????

gone: ha yeah! 

bisssky: omg since when? ✨

killer: a couple of weeks ig 

bisssky: hmmm i will allow it ✨

killer: allow it?? Wtf does that mean old hag 

bisssky: i will hit you 

annoying: kinkyyy~

killer: illumi get ur fiance he's being weird again 

murderhusband: Hisoka, stop traumatizing the children. 

annoying: look at you being a good big brother~

murderhusband: Thank you?

killer: he’s… a decent brother ig

chain_user: didn't he like manipulate you and lowkey abuse you 

murderhusband; I apologise for my past actions, this is not an excuse simply an explanation but Father said the training and pin were all mandatory. Perhaps my care for you was too overbearing. Please enjoy your travels with Gon. My apartment is always open for you and if you find yourself low on finances I will help support you.

murderhusband: Please give my apologies to Alluka and Nanika as well, I now understand trying to her was wrong.

annoying: well done illumi!~~ ill reward you later ;)

gone: we should visit hisoka and illumi!!

killer: wow okay 

killer: that's a lot to take in

killer: thanks for not being transphobic for once lol

killer: idk if i can like… accept your apology yet? Idk lol

murderhusband: I understand.

bisssky: wow the mood got super dark ✨

whorerio: back to illumi in cat ears? 

annoying: glad we are on the same page leorio dear~

bisssky: is this some sorta weird ship that no one told me about?

whorerio: i hope not

annoying: me and lumi are always looking for a third~~

murderhusband: No, we are not?

annoying: ;(

chain_user: get ur own annoying bastard, leorio is mine 

whorerio: are you calling me or hisoka an annoying bastard?

chain_user: you duh 

whorerio: you wound me 

chain_user: ur a doctor that shouldn't be a problem 

whorerio: i'm not officially a doctor yet 

chain_user: sounds like a you problem 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i realised illumi need some redemption so uhhh yeah  
> i kinda wanna do a special chapter dedicated to the zoldyck family gc, would that be something you guys would want?
> 
> also I have a feeling my writing is getting kinda repetitive, am I right or just overthinking?
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos <3
> 
> [follow me on tumblr](https://frogscanhavemyrights.tumblr.com/)


	9. (not) DAY 9

annoying:  ***sent attachment***

annoying: as promised , my dear ilu dressed as a wonderful neko femboy maid~~~

gone: wow he looks adorable!!!

bisssky: omgomgomg i need more-

whorerio: its ur turn pika ;)

chain_user: no ❤

whorerio: pls

whorerio: i’ll beg 

chain_user: ur already begging

whorerio: i’ll uhhh… beg more? 

chain_user: its still a no

killer: heh imma send the pic to the family gc 

murderhusband: Please do not.

annoying: why am i not in this “family gc”? ;(

murderhusband: You're not a Zoldyck. 

annoying: but we’re getting married~~~~

killer: hisoka’s right illumiii

killer: hehe add him >:3

chain_user: omg are you being nice to hisoka 

killer: i hate my family more the i hate hisoka 

killer: and who can annoy my family more than hisoka 

chain_user: yeah that's fair 

murderhusband: I really do not think Hisoka in the family GroupChat is a good idea. 

killer: yah that's why it should happen 

gone: wow since we’re dating can i be added!?

killer: illumi 

killer: lets colonise the family gc 

murderhusband: You do not understand how upset that would make mother.

murderhusband: She already has a strong distaste for Gon.

murderhusband: And Hisoka.

  
  


bisssky: And yet you're still with them so… perhaps they mean more to you then your family so as advice from someone older to someone younger - annoy them as much as possible :)

murderhusband: If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

killer: SHESS 57 

killer: FIFTY FUCKING SEVEn

bisssky: do you wanna get hit again? ✨

gone: ha :D but please don't hit him

bisssky: hmp fine

  
  


annoying: sooooooooo~~~

annoying: add meeee~~

murderhusband: I shall think about it.

killer: i’ll add him lol

killer: if it goes “well” i’ll add gon too

gone: yay!!!!

murderhusband: Well, I cannot stop you. 

annoying: oooh~~ that means he wants it ;)

murderhusband: You are quite annoying.

annoying: oh but you love me~~~~~

muderhusband: Debatable. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get ready for fun zoldyck times up next >:3


	10. Zoldyck Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoldycks, Hisoka and Killua is gay.

killer: bonsoir 

killer:  ***sent attachment***

murderhusband: I thought I told you not to send that, Kill.

killer: heh oops 

otaku_m: is that illumi in a maid dress???

killer: with cat ears 

allu: kitty!

kallutoe: lol 

otaku_m: ive been traumatized 

otaku_m: i'm going to bleach my eyes out 

murderhusband: Please do not. 

murderhusband: I do apologise, I did tell Killua to not send it.

murderhusband: I should’ve known better than to let Hisoka give out such things that can be used as blackmail.

silver: Illumi.

otaku_m: omg lololol

murderhusband: Yes, father?

silver: What am I looking at right now?   
  


killer: probably ur phone 

murderhusband: It was a picture my fiance had taken after Killua and his friends peer pressured me into dressing up as (and I quote) “a neko femboy maid”.

kikyo: Oh, is illumi finally wearing dresses again?! I’m so glad!

otaku_m: i never thought the words neko femboy maid would be coming from my brother 

allu: kitty illu-nii!

killer: heh yeah alluka 

z3n0: kids these days are weird. 

murderhusband: As I have said before, just so everyone is aware, I did not fully consent to wear the dress; nor the cat ears.

killer: imma print some out 

allu: can i have one

killer: sure :3

murderhusband: Please do not print it out.

otaku_m: wow illumi is begging this is new 

allu: kitty illu-nii is super cute!

killer: anywayyyyyyyyyy its time illumi >:3

murderhusband: Please do not.

otaku_m: wtf

***killer added sexxxyclown***

killer: OMG I FORGOT THE USERNAMES GO BACK IN NEW CHATS 

sexxxyclown: heyyyyy~~~

murderhusband: Hello.

sexxxyclown: why so cold dear?~~

kikyo: Who might this be?.

sexxxyclown: I believe we have before <3

sexxxyclown: Hisoka, Illumi’s fiance~~

murderhusband: A decision I am starting to regret. 

silver: May I ask why Killua added him.

killer: no you may not >:3

murderhusband: He thought it would be humorous. 

sexxxyclown: I hope i can live up to expectations~~

kallutoe: hey hisoka 

sexxxyclown: Oh, Kallu~~~~~~ hows chrollo??? <3 

sexxxyclown: and the other spiders of course~~

kallutoe: they’re good

sexxxyclown: ah thats good <3

silver: I wasn’t aware everyone was so well acquainted with Illumi’s partner.

sexxxyclown: do you feel left out ;(((

murderhusband: Hisoka.

allu: hey!!! I dont know who you are 

sexxxyclown: I’m your dear big brother's friend sweetheart <3

sexxxyclown: I believe I did try to kill you once, I do apologise 

allu: Its okay ilu-nii’s friend!!!!

sexxxyclown: ilu-nii? How cute ;)

murderhusband: Shut up.

otaku_m: moher is screaming again 

murderhusband: Go comfort her.

otaku_m: ugh

otaku_m: cant a butler do it

sexxxyclown: you must be milluki~~

otaku_m: hey?   
otaku_m: more importantly my game is about to start 

otaku_m: cant literally anyone else deal with her 

murderhusband: Is no one home?

otaku_m: Kall is with spiders, your getting ur dick wet, killua is being killua

murderhusband: Please do not speak like that.

otaku_m: did i lie tho

sexxxyclown: you most certainly did not~~~~

otaku_m: okay she stopped now

killer: AYO WHAT I MISS

otaku_m: ughh ew

killer: says you :P

killer: is everyone annoyed by hisoka yet 

murderhusband: Yes.

allu: Illu-nii’s friend is cool!

kallutoe; nope

otaku_m: eh not really

killer; Hisoka i expected more 

sexxxyclown: I do apologize~~~ 

sexxxyclown: i can send more illumi pics ;)

killer: hmmm yeah sure go-ahead

murderhusband: Hisoka.

murderhusband: My parents are in this chat.

sexxxyclown: ...and????~~~~

murderhusband: If you do send them, a punishment will be necessary. 

otaku_m: wtf 

otaku_m: pls keep that in the bedroom 

sexxxyclown: what type of punishment????~~~~~~~~~

murderhusband: I will abstain from engaging in sexual activities with you.

killer: keep it pg

killer: kallu and allu dont read

killer: they’re being gay 

sexxxyclown: mmmmm for how long~~

muderhusband: 2 months.

otaku_m: damn 2 months 

sexxxyclown: can you last that long tho illu??~~~ <3

murderhusband: Yes.

sexxxyclown:.....finee ;(

kallutoe: are they done being gay?   
  


killer: heh i think so 

killer: oh i’ve also got something to say 

killer: @silver @kikyo

silver: Yes?

kikyo: Hmm?

otaku_m: if he comes out i called it 

killer: im gay 

killer: i have a boyfriend (its gon :3)

killer: also i stole approximately 120000 jenny from your bank account lol 

otaku_m: calledddd ittttttttttt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOK AT ME UPLOADING A CHAPTER A DAY AFTER I ALREADY DID 
> 
> i think I'm going to try and do some uh leorio x kurapika chapters, I've been slacking with them and don't want the leopika supremacy kids to hurt me   
> uhh 
> 
> yeah
> 
> love yall <3


	11. (not) DAY 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That leopika angst everyone yearns for

whorerio: shitfucks listen up 

chain_user: shitfucks?

killer: shitfucks…

whorerio: shitfucks.

whorerio: I graduate my first year in 1 month and 9 days 

whorerio: we shall party

gone: I love parties!!! 

chain_user: don’t give the kids alcohol 

whorerio: got it

whorerio: is everyone up for it tho 

annoying: everyone??~~~

annoying: also Illumi wont be able to reply he’s on a mission ;( 

annoying: its so lonely without him~~~   
  


whorerio: uhhhh

whorerio: gon, killua, pika - you guys up for it 

annoying: i am going to go cry- ;((

killer: yah sure can i bring alluka 

whorerio: uhh s u r e 

gone: i cant wait!!!!!!!!

chain_user: I guess i’ll go 

whorerio: i cant wait to see you then pika 

whorerio: it feels like its been forever 

killer: omg he’s being gay 

chain_user: we saw each other like two weeks ago 

killer: damn he’s clingy

gone: TWO WEEKS?????

gone: i wouldnt be able to go two days without seeing killua :(

killer: shush

whorerio: AT LEAST YOU UNDERSTAND GON

chain_user: we call like every two days 

chain_user: its better than before 

whorerio:... better than before isn't something to flex upon babe…

chain_user: i'm trying okay?

whorerio: i know, i know 

whorerio: and i really appreciate it 

whorerio: but 

whorerio: actually doesn't matter, just know i appreciate you

killer: oof

chain_user: what do you mean “doesn't matter”

chain_user: if you're upset about something tell me.

gone: guys dont fight :(

killer: let's just stay out of it gon 

killer: I’ll dm you a code for among us 

gone: okie!!

whorerio: babe it genuinely doesn't matter 

whorerio: you’ve got bigger problems than me feeling a little lonely 

chain_user: fuck you leorio

chain_user: it should be my biggest problem 

chain_user: you should be my top priority 

whorerio: but i'm not am I?

whorerio: and that's okay 

whorerio: everyone has bigger things 

chain_user: what about you

chain_user: what's your bigger thing 

whorerio: making sure you're okay i guess 

chain_user: that's not fair 

chain_user: it's not fair on you

whorerio: I do apologise that my life is so boring i don't have a big revenge plot or an important quest in life

whorerio: i'm so sorry that i have to be the one to make sure you don't forget about me.

chain_user: how could i forget about you 

whorerio: am i just supposed to forget you didn't call or text for months. 

whorerio: months.

chain_user: it was different then 

whorerio: was it 

whorerio: was it really

whorerio: I will always be second place to your revenge and sometimes I can live with that because I would do anything for you. Anything. Literally anything. But sometimes ya know it really fucking hurts to know I’ll never be your number one.

whorerio: I’ll always be yours, but will you ever truly be mine?

whorerio: Like I said it doesn't matter. 

chain_user: leorio

chain_user: i am so sorry 

chain_user: I’ll try harder I promise okay?

chain_user: You mean so much to me. I’m yours okay?

chain_user: I’m yours.

whorerio: hey its okay don’t worry about it 

whorerio: lets see each other tomorrow if you're around 

chain_user: dont you have school?

whorerio: one day off won’t kill me 

chain_user: I love you leorio 

whorerio: I love you too.

bisssky: hiiiii what did i missssss

killer: go away hag they’re having a moment 

bisssky: HEY

chain_user: i forgot this was a gc-

chain_user: sorry for being gay 

killer: I’ll forgive you 

gone: killuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

gone: lets play more!!!

killer: okay, okay

killer: gimme one sec sweetheart 

gone: okie!!

whorerio; sweetheart-

whorerio: when did that start

gone: Zushi joined mine and Killua’s call as we played among us 

gone: And Zushi dared Killua to call me that for the rest of the day!!! :D

killer: i am not doing it out of my own free will 

killer: please understand that leorio 

annoying: hiiii~~~~~~~

annoying: im backkkkk~~~ <3

killer: welp au revoir the gamer life calls to me 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LISTENED TO MITSKI WHILST WRITING THIS AND IT S H O W S
> 
> AnYwAyS~~~~~~  
> my own writing kinda uhhhh made me sad  
> so 😎


End file.
